I've always been told that when one door closes, another one opens.
While I've always believed this statement to be true, along with 'everything happens for a reason', I can't help but wonder when that other door will open for me. Clearly I wasn't meant to have two of my previous jobs for longer than I did, but I can't help but feel helpless, even when I'm doing the best that I can with my given circumstances. I've contemplated going back to school and although there is a college locally that offers what I think I'd like to do, but it is very much a religious school. I have nothing against religious colleges and universities as I attended one for 6 years, but from what I'm reading about this school and differences from where I previously attended, my past education was about educating and developing the person as a whole through spirit, mind, and body, not religion, though they do go hand in hand in a way. Ironically, when I began looking at colleges to attend, this particular institution was one of them, but what turned me away from it was how religious the school was with their education and it was in the middle of nowhere. Funny how all these years later, I'm looking at the school again and am still turned off by how religious they are, but I keep wondering if fate is trying to tell me something. Religious or not, it is a good school and well respected. I did contact them recently, inquiring about the program I am interested in, and now I am waiting. I'm in no rush, but part of me wishes they would respond soon. The ball is in the air. Now I wait for it to come down.
There are times I wonder what my life would be like if I chose differently for the many different choices I made. But at the same time, I wouldn't be where I am today without those choices, and so, I will look ahead and continue to make my own choices, but I have no doubt that something will come out of all this, good or bad, and I will learn from it and continue to move forward as I have done all these years. Everything happens for a reason even if that reason is unknown to me, I know that reason was what was best for me at that moment.